It’s Friday and you’re wrapping up a difficult week. Work’s been dreadful, your boss has been on you for shit that’s not even your fault, and on top of all of that, you’ve been craving sugar every waking minute. You’ve been on this new diet, you see, and you’ve sworn off everything “bad”: no cream in your coffee, no freakin’ ranch dressing on your pathetic little salad, no cookies, no ice cream, no fun. Your coworker Sally Sue told you before that this is what needed to be done to get shredded for the summer, so you went ahead and threw out all the junk food you had stashed away in your kitchen cupboards. You stuck to sad lettuce, you choked down dry chicken breast, and you cried tears of despair as you quietly sipped down that kale smoothie.
But it was Bob’s birthday at work today, and of course someone had to bring in a cake from Publix to celebrate. Ugh. Why does it have to be someone’s birthday? Doesn’t everyone know that you have a freakin’ diet to stick to? Rude.
You stick your nose up as paper plates topped with sugary goodness are passed around the room over lunch. You purse your lips together as your stomach growls loudly in protest, and it takes everything in you to stick to your celery and carrots. After a round of office gossip, you slunk forlornly back to your cubicle and try to get back to finishing up that Excel project before heading home for the weekend.
An hour later, you get up for a pee break and you can’t help but notice the birthday cake still sitting in the break room as you walk by. There’s still a bit left – plenty, actually. But no. You’re determined. No sugar no fun!
But as the hours go by, your mind keeps wandering back to that cake. It’s only 20 steps away. So easy to get to. Your lunch, quite frankly, tasted like cardboard, and you have been feeling rather lethargic. You could use the sugar boost, right? You could let loose just a tiny bit to reward yourself for a solid week’s worth of work, can’t you?
Okay, just one small bite, you tell yourself. For Bob. After all, I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings by not partaking in his celebrations, right? Happy birthday, you sonofabitch.
Whoa. Ohmigodthistastessogood. Is this what heaven is like? But what about your diet?
Ah, what the hell, you think to yourself as you reach for another slice of birthday cake. And then another. And another.
Before you know it, half of the remaining cake’s been devoured and you’re sitting in the corner of the room, frosting smeared all over your face. You can hardly recall the past 10 minutes as you stare blankly ahead. Your heart’s racing and you know you’ve totally blown your diet, but there’s absolutely no turning back now. Might as well finish off the cake before the day is over….