“Oh dear God, no, this is terrible,” the professor quips. “You’ll never be an architect.”
That’s Professor Vinick speaking to Ted*, an eager college student aspiring to be an architect. He’s just sat through a lecture of his favorite and most intellectual architecture instructors, and has just had one of his sketches spat on.
Ted is crushed. He’d been hopeful, expecting words of wisdom or even the slightest nod of approval, and has instead been rejected outright by one of his idols.
“I hate her,” you mumble under your breath. “She’s just so fit and perky all the time. How is that even possible?”
Oh girl, let me tell you.
You think that being both lean and happy is a myth, that you can either be lean and miserable or overweight and jolly. And the chiseled chicks walking around smiling all the time must absolutely be lying through their teeth. I mean, obviously if you want to be beach-ready, you have to be munching on carrot sticks all the time and blacking out every fortnight from lack of carbs – and hell, you’re an angry b!tch because of it. And on the other hand, if you want to have energy, then you must be fueling yourself with donuts and sporting a comfy winter coat of insulation to so much as feel functional.
I hate cardio. The steady-state variety, that is.
I despise it.
You couldn’t pay me to do it.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is in large part due to some PTSD of sorts from my eating-disordered cardio bunny days (15 miles a day, 7 days a week? No fun). And also partly because I find it incredibly, mind-numbingly boring and I can think of a hundred other things I could be doing to make better use of my time.
Surely I can’t be alone on this. Right?
But steady-state cardio isn’t all 100% evil. Only 97%. (Just kidding. Kind of. Not really. Not at all, actually.)
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there’s a decent chance you’re reading this while you’re supposed to be working—caught you! What’s more, if you are working, I bet you’re sitting right now—just like you were an hour ago, and just like you will be for the next couple of hours until you pack your belongings for the day.
Even then, you will sit some more in your car to drive home in time to sit down for dinner. Then, you’ll sit on your couch, floor, or deep in that favorite chair for the rest of the evening.
I hope there’s been a link somewhere among the news stories and gifs circulating your office about the downside of spending so much time parked on your can. Sure, there are increased rates of obesity and its accompanying health markers, but other studies have scarily linked time spent sitting to mortality from all causes, regardless of subjects’ physical activity in leisure time. The takeaway is that sitting around for hours and hours is simply bad for you, and you need to do whatever you can to mitigate its effects.
How to Conquer Trigger Foods August 14, 2017
Content Theft is Real, and It’s Happening Now More Than Ever July 9, 2017
The Weekday Diet April 29, 2017
Physique Science Radio Episode 33: Epic Collaboration with Steve Cook, Courtney King, and Bret Contreras April 1, 2017
