I need a good introductory paragraph here. Something creative, witty, funny – something that will capture your attention and give you a reason to continue on with the rest of this piece. Okay, so, uhhhhh… in the fifth grade, Mr. S taught us that an essay needs to consist of a section where you tell the reader what you’re going to tell him, then a section where you tell him, and then a closing section where you tell the reader what you just told him. He also told us to stay away from alcohol because it wasn’t good for us – and then I caught him that same evening through the window of a bar throwing back beers with his buddies like it was nothing. I wasn’t in the bar, don’t worry; I was just walking by on the sidewalk with my girlfriend and happened to peek in. That was weird. I didn’t know the word for it then, but now it’s clear to me what all of that was: hypocrisy.
Yeah, he never lived that one down. Haha! Fun times. But you know what, I’m going off track here.
Back to writing.
Maybe I need to start over again. Alright then. But no, this is hard. The introduction is always the hardest part. I’ve spent five minutes just staring at the blinking cursor on the screen. It’s taunting me, I tell you. What, you still can’t think of anything to type on here? it sneers.
So I think I’ll just skip the introduction for now. I’m much better when I return to this part last, anyway.
The Introduction above should be re-named the Not-Introduction until I think of something more clever.
Let’s just skip ahead and get into the meat of things.